It’s November; Thanksgiving time and the start of a busy holiday season. I’m guessing that you want to see your children be sensitive, tolerant and grateful. J
Even though preschoolers are typically very self-centered, they do show kind and sensitive acts throughout the day. You need to watch for it and do your own modeling to make it a solid family value. Here are a few things to keep in mind:
1. Encourage & Recognize - If you notice your child doing something unselfish, name it and give them recognition for their sensitivity. Let them know that what they are doing is a kind and caring thing (without being too over the top about it). If they do not show sensitivity, patiently ask them to ‘try again’ – allowing for‘do overs’ is a favorite way to correct and encourage.
2. Give Responsibility- research shows a correlation between the amount of responsibility children have and their tendency to think of others. A child with no responsibility may become spoiled and begin to lose their sense of caring and concern.
3. Teach by Example and Active Listening - Show children this attitude of empathy in your own actions, by modeling the same behavior and values you want to instill in them. Actively listen to your children by hearing what they have to say, then paraphrasing it back to them so they know you understood it and are concerned with their thoughts and feelings.
4. Say, "I'm Sorry" If you’ve made a mistake or were insensitive to your child, let your child know you are sorry for this. Just be mindful about asking for forgiveness too often without an effort to do better in the future!
5. Remember that Unselfishness Does Not Come Naturally - Becoming unselfish is a process that "takes thinking and practicing and a certain amount of maturity to develop." Do not expect your children to naturally always think of others first or know how to be empathetic to those who are suffering. It is a character virtue that you as a parent must model and help them learn.
Enjoy the glorious month of November and all that we have to be thankful for.
As always, I look forward to seeing you and your children at school!
Gratefully,
Carol
You can read more tips for teaching values in Teaching Your Children Values, by Linda and Richard Eyre